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Dear Delilah #2: Friendship Faux Pas

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Q: Hello. Recently a lot of people have been getting on my nerves. What do you suggest I do to deal with it?

 

A: With the stress of school, it is only natural when tensions rise, leaving you annoyed with friends. But it doesn’t have to be like that. Frustrations are temporary, but friendship is forever.

 

Try to take a break. See if you can temporarily distance yourself from the friend, and try to think of all the things you appreciate about them.

 

Then, try to talk with your friend. Voice your frustrations with them, and let them know that the things they’ve been doing have been getting to you. Try to do this without being rude and placing all the blame on them. If you are polite when confronting them, they most likely will see things from your point of view and agree to try to stop doing whatever was bothering you.

 

In the future, be more vocal! If a friend is snappy with you or does something that makes you uncomfortable or just something you’d rather they not do, tell them as it happens or wait for a time where you can be alone with the friend and air your thoughts. Contrary to popular belief, our friends cannot read our minds. We all fall victim to keeping quiet about our true feelings, but airing your opinions, so long as they are tasteful and respectful, will get you a long way, and maybe even stop a treasured relationship from falling apart.

 

Also, try to understand where your unhappiness is really coming from. Are your friends actually acting more annoying than usual, or have college applications just lowered your tolerance threshold? Have your friends been acting more hurtful than usual, or are you just worried about your sick pet?

 

I have a close friend who I’ve known for most of high school. This year, however, just the sight of her would make me angry! She wasn’t doing anything obnoxious or acting differently, but any time she would come up to me and try to have a conversation, I would become annoyed! I realized that it wasn’t her who was bothering me, but it was the stress of senior year, and that I shouldn’t be taking it out on her. We’ve since made up, and I’m so glad we did.

 

Then again, if a friend truly is doing something to purposefully aggravate you, do not ignore it. Confront them about it, and if they do not stop harassing you, talk to a parent, teacher or trusted friend.

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Dear Delilah #2: Friendship Faux Pas